The Heart of the Matter
Lately I’ve noticed how drained I feel from the Monday-Friday grind. I often feel depleted yet I’ve felt an increase in anxiety. My anxiety is a beast, one I’ve wrestled with for way, way too long. It’s been a long process as I learn how to deal with my panic attacks and stress in natural, healthy ways. Coping skills. I’ve had people use my anxiety disorder against me. It’s very frustrating how uneducated some people are when it comes to mental health.
In the long run, that really doesn’t matter. What matters is taking care of yourself. I’ve been learning more and more about self care. Making sure I get to bed early, eating healthier, working out, and sometimes it means not going to parties or events my friends are having so I can rest and relax and work on healing myself. It’s a process. I’m enjoying my own space and writing, decorating, cooking, working out, and enjoying the slowness of a day to myself.
I’ve had some personal posts on here because part of my blog is to talk about real life behind vintage glamour. Some of those posts I switched over from published to drafts. As they sit now in my draft folder I think it’s symbolic of how I feel. I feel I need to protect my energy right now. I feel I need to protect my heart. I love my blog and how eclectic it is - but right now, in this season of my life, I’m focused on bettering myself. I’m focusing on family. I’m focused on learning more and more how to battle my anxiety disorder with less and less doctor prescribed medicine (which has also been used against me which is infuriating since it saved me when I was a very terrified teenager and now this year I’ve scaled back more and more and more so I can be completely off medication one day and deal with life in all its colors and intensity and learn how to power through anxiety attacks in natural ways) and getting to the heart of the matter. I’m learning a lot and growing. I feel this space , this blog, will continue to evolve but I held back some posts I feel are better left for me. Maybe one day I’ll publish them again.
Right now it’s about the creative process. It’s about healing. It’s about being honest about my anxiety but holding the rest of my cards close to me. Sometimes we have to so we can truly evolve.
Thank you for reading and continuing to be on this journey with me!
Merry Christmas + Happy New Year,
Owner/Editor of Betty Juliet Diaries